Thursday, January 10, 2008

The Where and the Why

Seoul Day 4: January 6, 2008
Sunday began at 3:30 a.m. for me. When I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep this time I felt completely desperate. I was so tired. This anxiety just made my insomnia worse. I tried everything to get myself to rest. I ate a piece of toast, cried, prayed. Nothing helped and as time moved on without me sleeping I just got more anxiety. I had so many worries going through my head—the heat in the apartment, how would we get that fixed? The first day of Church, how would we get there (we have no car and seven of us is a bit crowded for a cab)? When does church start? Where is it? Where am I? I haven’t yet looked at a map to see exactly where I fit into the whole “Seoul” picture. I know that I am north of the Han River. My thoughts and worries mounted. I worried about the girl’s first day of school—what would they wear? What would I pack in their lunch? Where is it? I worried about Jim’s visa and our U.S. bank account, our minivan that hasn’t been shipped to the people who bought it and is sitting in our landlord’s driveway in Boston right now, driving her nuts. I was completely overwhelmed with worry. At about 5:00 a.m., I started hearing the insomniac/jet lag stirrings of my three year old. So Sunday for me began at 3:30 a.m.
No matter where I am or what time of the day Sunday starts, it’s probably the toughest day of the week for me. The task of getting me dressed up to look my best is just too much work let alone getting all five children in tow. Then there is the usual Sunday morning bickering and boredom. Now, living out of stale suitcases in a strange place I couldn’t even bear to think about doing the Sunday Sumba. Somehow, I put myself into automatic pilot and in spite of my oncoming migraine we crammed into a cab and rode the fifteen minutes to church. And, as if by a miracle, the same thing happened there in that little chapel in Seoul that that has happened to me in so many other chapels in the world on Sunday. I felt the love of God for His children. I felt His guiding hand and caring eye and I wept.

10 comments:

ellen said...

Bless you, Kim! Thank you for continuing to share your Seoul story.

Anonymous said...

So inspiring, Kim! The last few sentences were even better because of the stress that proceeded them. Sure love you guys!
Beth

behka said...

Kim,
I feel it, too. Its amazing how He can keep track of us all. Its comforting to know that God is everywhere, even in Korea. Thanks for sharing your miracle.

Gracie said...

The way you put those last few sentance was amazing! It sounded beautiful. You forgot to put something about my talk!

Anonymous said...

I love the blog i thout that day was much better than you

gloria said...

Thank you Kim for putting everything into perspective. You are such an example to me of faith and endurance. You are right up there with Grandma Linge. She will proud of you.

alese said...

I'm so proud of you. You are doing something that is so incredibly hard, but something that I dream of doing. If you can do it then I can too! (somebody has to forge the way,right?) I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your story-thanks for sharing!
P.S. try Tylenol PM. It works wonders for jet lag.

Robs said...

Great post. Again you made me cry. Thanks for the great post and for being such an example to me. It is wonderful that the church is the same throughout the world. I love you Kim!

Unknown said...

Kim, I love reading your blog. Your are such a good example to me. I don't think I would have made it to church that day.

BigFunFamily said...

Way to go, guys! Kim, I think some day you will look back at your Korea days as some of the happiest times of your life. We love you. Send more pictures!!